Its OK if What You Think Makes You Happy Doesnt - The Muse

Its OK if What You Think Makes You Happy Doesnt - The MuseIts OK if What You Think Makes You Happy Doesnt I just dont know whats wrong with me, my friend said, nervously shredding the drink jacket that came with zu sich paper cup while we sat at the corner table in one of our favorite local coffee shops. We had agreed to meet for an hour or two so she could vent about various things that were stressing her out. She welches well into her second year as a social worker- a position shed worked undeniably hard for. After her undergrad, a masters degree, and countless internships, she was finally working in the field that she had dreamed about since she could remember. I have exactly what I wanted, she said, neatly organizing the cardboard shreds she had piled on the table, So, why do I still feel this unsettled? Arent I supposed to be happier now?I sighed and told her that I knew exactly how she felt. Honestly, it was a situation I found myself in more times than I cared to count. And, y ou know what? Im willing to bet that youve been there a time or two as well.Perhaps thats why one particular quote from a recent bewerbungsgesprch that author, Gretchen Rubin, did with Alison Green, who runs the popular Ask a Manager site, stood out to me so much Sometimes the things that make us happy arent the things that we wish made us happy- whether its a particular romantic partner or the books we like to read or a specific career track.Thats so true, isnt it? Its so easy to build up these ideas of what should bring us joy based on the reputation we want to cultivate or the image we want to present to the rest of the world. But, heres the danger in that You often end up loving the idea way more than the reality.When you eventually discover that particular thing doesnt actually light a fire inside of you as you had originally anticipated? Well, theres often a hefty amount of shame that comes with that- a sense of failure, despite the fact that youre giving up something you neve r authentically enjoyed anyway (seriously, just ask me about the time I tried to convince myself that I love running).And, that was exactly where my friend found herself After investing tons of time, energy, and resources into her education, she thought her career path was emotionally taxing and not anything like she imagined. And, that discovery left her feeling burdened with guilt and confusion.I wish I had Greens advice to share with her then, because I find her message to be particularly encouraging. Not only are you allowed to try things and then determine that you dont experience the sense of fulfillment or enthusiasm you were hoping for, but youre also usually allowed to drop them like hot potatoes when you come to that conclusion. Even further, becoming aware that something doesnt bring you pleasure isnt just an opportunity to let go of those things that dont make you happy, but also to find the things that actually do. Ive tried to really prioritize figuring out what brings me happiness- even if theyre things that arent entirely aligned with the self-image I want to have- and then try to arrange my life accordingly, Green continues in the interview.So, if youve currently found yourself stuck in a similar situation as my friend and feel like youve been duped by reality, take Greens encouragement and run with it. Remember, while we all have to do things that arent totally joy-worthy every now and then (sorry), lifes way too short to fill your days with stuff that only brings you down. You have my permission Let go of that urge to beat yourself up and instead turn your attention to figuring out what actually will bring you the level of enthusiasm and satisfaction that you know you deserve. Trust me, thats far more productive than the alternative.